New Office Policy Masa Gawat...huhuhu

EFFECTIVE :Immediately

NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, a n alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management

pheewwhhh

Economic Crisis May Take 2-4 Years To Recover, Says Nor Mohamed

2-4 years...lama tu kan..the problem is many still not sure how bad it is...japan pun dah enter into recession..dgr2nya local financial institution pun dah start offering vss..so sesapa yg nak lompat2 keja tu...wont be a gud time to do that..last in first out kan

KUALA LUMPUR, Nov 19 (Bernama) -- While the current global economic crisis may continue two to four years, its negative effects will not be as bad as that of the Great Depression in the United States during the 1930s, said Second Finance Minister Tan Sri Nor Mohamed Yakcop.

Compared with the 1997 regional financial crisis, the present situation however is bigger as in 1997 it was a banking and currency crisis involving countries in the region and therefore at the sideline of the world financial system.

This time around however, the crisis involves world financial centres in the US and Europe and it cannot be easily resolved as it involves the erosion of the world financial system.

It will take a long time to regain the confidence that has been lost, he said.

Referring to concerns raised by Malaysians, he said the rate of unemployment in the country was still low at three percent and even if goes up it will not exceed four percent.

Malaysia also has a high level of savings at 37 percent compared with the US which has between zero and one percent and the US government has to now borrow US$4 billion every working day to take care of its needs.

Nor Mohamed said Malaysia's banking system was also solid and that the government was proactive in taking measures to resolve the problems including taking measures that were unorthodox like what it did during the 1997 crisis.

Meanwhile, on concerns of a lower income from oil revenue, he said that in the 2009 Budget, the taxes from petroleum and the dividends were based on the price of oil during 2008, and given this, there was no issue actually.

Only from the 2010 Budget onwards there may be a need to relook at the oil revenue considering the fast falling oil price.

He also said that the country's high deficit of 4.8 percent was not a problem as the Malaysian government was highly disciplined in its financial management and was capable of paying back.

He also pointed out that in 1997, the budget deficit was 5.5 percent, adding that a high deficit for one or two years was not a problem.

On concerns regarding foreign banks in the country, he said it was mandatory for foreign owned banks in the country to establish their operations locally using their own capital equity and not as a branch to their holding banks in their respective countries.

Therefore, there is no risk whether the parent banking company is from the US or elsewhere, he said.

On the good that has come out of the financial crisis, he said the western leaders were now beginning to use the advice given by Malaysia 10 years ago on the weakness of the international financial system.

Now, they too are seeking for a more fair and stronger financial framework, he said.

The situation has also given the opportunity to economic experts to gather and put forward their views to strengthen the existing system and from this lesson, the country will come out stronger to face the challenges in the world based on knowledge and technology.

There are also many Malaysians working outside the country coming back either because they have lost their jobs or it has become difficult to work overseas, he said.

-- BERNAMA